I have a crap tonne of wholemeal flour to use up so it’ll be Child’s Play Pizza tonight (no yeast required). Furthermore, in my bid to use up this flour (why can’t it come in smaller packs??!) I will be returning to my teenage years – the Junior Cert, to be precise – when, for our cooking exam, I was tasked with making two different types of scones and hoping the tester could tell which was my own homemade effort and which came out of a packet. I practiced making scones for weeks. There were scones coming out of our ears. And they’re the simplest bloody things to make. If I had failed that exam, I would have deserved it. I’m just glad I didn’t have to make the fish dish: at 15 years of age, few little Irish girls like the idea of touching a fish, let alone skinning it, cutting it, cooking it and actually eating it. Nowadays, I’ll happily cook up a creamy, buttery peppered mackerel and potato pie.
So keep an eye out for the pizza later (and scones in a day or two). It’s a wholemeal doughy base but there’s no yeast in it. What kids can be trusted to do anything productive with yeast in the space of an hour and a half? God bless our Home Economics teachers: they were always trying to get us to understand healthy cooking. Well, I’ll say thanks for the wholemeal flour but don’t you ever dare ask me to put margarine in a chocolate cake again!